That’s great. Your devotion to keeping the tunes in their finest possible form is admirable, and you are truly a colossus, standing astride the world of awesome taste.
But we’re seriously gonna need you to shut the fuck up already.
I don’t have anything against vinyl, mind you. I own a turntable myself – once in a while when I’m in the mood for some Johnny Mathis or Doris Day whatever else is in my gramma’s collection (read: never ever ever) I like to whip it out and soak myself in those amazing songs. Lawrence Welk. Tom Jones. Whatever else they made before the invention of Kurdt Cobain. But after I do that, you know what I don’t do? I don’t brag to all my friends about how much “warmer†the music sounds on my clearly superior musical medium. This is partially because, if I want to trade spaced out rantings on things tangentially related to music, I have a thing called this website. It’s also partially because I’m not a flaming fuckbasket. Say what you want about the dudes who drive Priuses and can’t shut up about it – a vehicle is a pretty big lifestyle choice, and with people paying a billion bucks a drop for gasoline, it’s at least workable as a conversation piece. But most vinyl fanatics don’t even wait to bring their love for vinyl up when it comes up in a conversation (read: never ever ever). Nobody gets in a circle, holds hands, and compares their favorite mediums for music. It’s gotta be interjected.
“Hey, I have a vinyl turntable. It’s so great. It sounds like you’re there.”
If you’re a professional DJ, then OK, I’ll cut you a little slack. But if you’re a scene kid whose got an Uncle Pennybags giving you a trust fund, or even worse, you’re a plain ol’ regular ol’ dude who’s putting in overtime at Kwik-E-Mart so that he can beat his meat over how l33t his musical medium of choice is – you’re sad. Music is music. LP, CD, Eight Track. They have pluses and minues. Play your music. Enjoy your music. Then for Christ’s sakes shut the fuck up about it before I kill you.
Tags: mini-rant