And then this happened:
On one level, there’s Joaquin Phoenix giving an incredibly awkward and unintentionally hilarious with David Letterman, featuring one word answers, long pauses, a near walkout, and a famous movie star who very well have checked out of his motherfucking brain. There are three possibilities here:
1) Some people might know that he’s filming a documentary with Casey Affleck. Maybe this is all an elaborate stunt, for some satirical movie created to make fun of Hollywood ballwashing. It’s some sort of Ashton / Kaufman style punking that he’s very devoted to. Is he a good enough actor to pull all this nutty stuff off? Absolutely, and he’s so hardcore that he could easily have bought a recording studio and scheduled some weird ass appearances in Vegas to hype this weird ass stuff.
Odds: 40%
2) And equally likely. He’s not making any of it up, he’s not faking it, it’s Joaquin Phoenix just being eccentric as all hell. He seriously wants to be a rapper, seriously wants to stop acting, seriously thinks that hideous beard looks good on him. And man… he’s a Hollywood guy. These things seem insane to most of us mere mortals, but when you have people blowing smoke up your ass all the time – and he is a hellified actor – you start to believe your own hype. Maybe there’s somebody out there telling him he doesn’t really need movies and that he’ll be the next Chingy. God forbid.
Odds: 40%
3) He’s high as fuck. And the way his eyes are acting in the video, I wouldn’t be too stunned. This seems less likely, but wouldn’t it be sick on everyone’s part? To watch this guy string himself out while America gives a collective LOLWTF to this craziness? I don’t think one’s that likely. You have to do a runthrough with the producers of the show before you go on, you tell them the cheesy anecdotes you’re going to peddle for the evening or whatever. So, I think there are too many people between Joaquin and Letterman – on both sides – who would have had a chance to stop it. Then again, people are asskissers. Who’s gonna be the guy to replace Commodus with Stupid Pet Tricks because of a minor thing like someone’s safety?
I mean, what a morbid idea – that a person would fall apart while some other amoral fuck rolls film of it.
Odds: 20%
Right now, we’re in that weird zone where someone presents a joke with a straight face that’s so crazy you have to wonder if they’re joking or not. It’s not the first time. Remember when the guy from Blur decided to start a hip hop group… starring cartoons? I mean, looking back on it it seems like a good idea, but it was roundly mocked in the beginning, especially since Damon Albarn didn’t exactly look like he was peaking creatively with Blur. I guess in this instance, we’ll look back in a few months and know which one we’re dealing with. youtube
Tags: Blur, Gorillaz, Joaquin Phoenix
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[...] Stereo Zeitgeist wrote an interesting post today on You Have To Be Kidding Me.Here’s a quick excerptOn one level, there’s Joaquin Phoenix giving an incredibly awkward and unintentionally hilarious with David Letterman, featuring one word answers, long pauses, a… [...]